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What is “swinging”?
No I am not thinking of a form of dancing. I am referring to a phenomena also known as partner swapping. Noting that this is usually also referred to in the context of a couple.
Though this in itself will likely tell you something about what swinging is. It may be useful to know that there are many forms of swinging, all of which do not always include actually swapping partners. To clarify this I am happy to tell you a bit more about this starting with a list of the most common forms of swinging :
Erotic swinging
This form of swinging does not include any actual partner swapping, and is mostly voyeuristic in nature. Essentially you and your partner merely enjoy looking at others having sex (in it’s various forms). The erotic nature of this causes you to enjoy higher levels of sexual enjoyment with each other, and within the closeness of the couple.
Soft swinging
Though there are various forms of soft swinging, this does commonly involve more than one couple (or couple and third person). The most common form of this being “touching others – intercourse (usually penetration) with own partner only”. So there is merely an erotic emphasis placed on the swap, and actual intercourse only takes place with own partners.
Full Swinging
As the title suggests this is full sexual intercourse swapping of partners with others. Essentially everybody has sex with everybody else. (obviously within the context of a swinging environment.)
Combination
Of course many swingers practice various combinations of these forms of swinging, usually placed somewhere between soft and full.
Unfortunately however when people think of swinging this is pretty much what they think of, hence the stigma associated with this. There are however a number of elements which make the difference between swinging being the stigmatized version, or actually offer more benefit that just sex. As such these are issues which should also be considered when thinking about swinging.
Choice
Any true swinger is always pro choice. Ie. Nobody will ever force you to do something you do not want to. And anybody that does, is not really a swinger. Sexual predator perhaps, but definitely not a swinger. (The days where “wife swapping” was done on a principle of “I sleep with your’s, and you sleep with mine” – them seemingly not having much choice in the matter, is long gone. Thankfully.). Everybody chooses, how, when, where and with whom, and no means no. (And this is seemingly a rule applied by most reputable swingers clubs.)
Trust
Of course you have to trust the couples, or persons you want to swing with, otherwise this is just a disaster waiting to happen. (or at least you are unlikely to derive much pleasure from it). However there is a much more important trust aspect at work here, and that is the trust between partners within the swinging couple.
One of the reasons why swinging is so successful is because if offers a unique outlet for normal human desires, without breaking the inherently required trust between partners in a couple, needed for a successful relationship.
How?...
Essentially one of the largest causes of couples breaking up, is usually linked to a breach in trust, whether as a result of cheating (often) or other problems related to this. One partner stops trusting the other, and the relationship is on the rocks.
Within the swinging milieu it is possible to “agree to cheat”. And though this in itself is somewhat scary, the real value of this comes with the ability to agree on the rules of what is acceptable and what is not. Now partners are able to enjoy the benefit of cheating without having to lie, and risk breaking the trust of your partner. And perhaps surprising is also the interesting result that partners actually learn to trust each other more, than if they were not swinging.
The key thus here is the agreement, and sticking to this, at all cost. And of course if there is no agreement about levels of swinging, the couple is not supposed to be together, or are not really swingers. Just adults wanting sex.
So as a last thought I leave you with this.
You should only consider swinging if your relationship with your partner is strong and healthy. Do not ever think that swinging will fix an already broken relationship. It will only make it worse.
However for those of us that have mastered this very delightful entertainment, I can only say, happy swinging…
AUTHOR BIO
Pieter Heydenrych (an co) has been involved in the swinging scene for many years now, and is responsible for the creation of the Free Adult Dating Site which is an adult dating site dedicated to offering a totally 100% free adult dating and contact website, which even permits the exchange of personal information for free…
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