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Building trust with a proper partner swinging agreement

 

This is something that any successful swinger will (and should) tell you.  The only way to succeed at swinging, without compromising your relationship with your very valuable life partner, is to make sure that you have agreed on some of the important aspects of your mutual swinging life.  This not only helps build and increase the trust between partners, but helps to maintain this very important trust, and tends to keep partners honest.  Something which you will likely know is important if you are looking to stay with your life partner.

 

Unfortunately too many couples start their swinging life without a proper agreement, leaving innumerable ways for one partner to misunderstand the acceptable limits, and sometimes, hurting the other partner, unintentionally.  Something which is entirely avoidable if you have at least some idea of what to agree upon, before you start.  It leaves less room for potentially costly mistakes.

 

To this end I am offering you some suggestions on some of the more important issues to consider when you are starting your swinging life with your partner.  These suggestions are based on my experience of many years, and will hopefully help you avoid the traps that my partner and I fell into :

·                     Agree on how you are going to swing :

Of course this stays one of the 1^st things to agree upon with your partner.  Are you only doing erotic, soft or full swinging, and to what degree.  Is penetration of other parties allowed or not, and by whom.  You should even discuss issues of kissing (will you, won’t you, open mouth or not, and so on.)  Essentially each partner should consider what they will be comfortable with seeing the other partner doing.

·                     Safe SEX :

This is a very important thing to consider since every time you (or your partner) engage in any sexual activity you are exposing not only yourself, but also the other partner.  And not forgetting potentially your life together.  Agree on the risks you are prepared to take.  Agree on the importance of things like use of condoms, and other protection aids.  (Remember if you care enough to want your partner alive, with you, you should act safe enough)

·                     Swinging separation, or not :

Very often a couple will be faced with a swinging couple that do not have a problem with splitting partners, and then you would be faced with a decision to make regarding whether you are prepared to split up (eg. go to separate rooms) or not.  Rather than make a split moment decision that you will regret later, decide before hand, and stick to this.  If you agree to stay together during your swinging experiences, stick together.  Split second decisions normally leaves at least one partner uncomfortable (you know that vivid imagination…)

·                     Must both get some or not :

Though this may seem trivial, it will often happen that one partner is faced with an opportunity, which seems great, without the other partner being present.  It is best to agree beforehand on whether this is acceptable or not.  And saying you are comfortable to separate, does not always cover these types of opportunities.  So agree on this as well.

·                     NEVER CHANGE AGREEMENTS IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT

Again this may seem somewhat trivial (and many beginners say “this won’t happen to me”).  When considering your swinging lifestyle agreement it is very important that you know and remember that there are a lot of swingers out there, that are more experienced than you are. And in some instances, some of these people may even look like swingers when they are really just adults looking for fun (not holding the principles of the swinging lifestyle high – and as such do not really care about your partner agreements). 

 

With this in mind you will often be faced with opportunities, pressures and situations which you are not prepared for, or have not agreed upon, leaving you relationship with your life partner very vulnerable.  My advice is that you walk away from these situations (even if they look rose colored to at least one of the partners) until you have had a chance to discuss this with your partner. This especially since pressuring you partner into something (in the heat of the moment) could only lead one way, DISASTER

 

 

In conclusion I can only suggest.  Enjoy, be safe, and don’t be horny to stupidity.  It’s not worth it…

 

AUTHOR BIO

Pieter Heydenrych (an co) has been involved in the swinging scene for many years now, and is responsible for the creation of the Free Adult Dating Site which is an adult dating site dedicated to offering a totally 100% free adult dating and contact website, which even permits the exchange of personal information for free…